Wanted: Stud-Muffin for Muffin Maker
You: Tall, dark, handsome and funny. Passionate about love and life; you’re able to spend your afternoons in my bed. My mornings and evenings are taken. Discretion is a must. You’re smart. Wit is a plus. Must have money because I don’t want to pay the check every time we order in. Young would be good, but I would consider an older gentleman if he kept up appearances. I want a well toned, athletic body, a Greek God body, not a couch potato. Sports enthusiast OK, but sports can’t take away from our time together. You’re well read and cultured. I do not have to explain a movie, an opera, or a painting to you. You cook because I will not. You have your own transportation. You change the sheets on your bed once a week in the event that we spend time at your place. I am your lover not your wife or mother. You will answer my calls. My number is on your speed dial. You will long for me when I am not with you.
Me: I am not looking for commitment. I do not want a relationship that leads to marriage. I am looking for pleasure only. Your pleasure is mine and my pleasure is yours, pure and simple. I am not looking for the complication of love or connection with a soul-mate. I am the kind of woman men notice from a distance. I am the kind of woman other women despise. Think Barbarella and you get an image of me. I like fur. I like little blue boxes from Tiffany. I like surprises and vacations to tropical beaches. You will like me in a swim suit. You will be proud to be seen with me at your side. I decide when and where we meet.
Writing Prompt From:
Let’s have fun this week. We want you to write a personal ad for your character, like one you would find on a dating site. The ad should tell us about your character, but should not be a laundry list – and no cliches about walks on the beach.
Make it interesting, unexpected. Is there something your character is trying to hide that you can tell by reading between the lines? Would we know which character it was (if you have a recurring one) by reading the ad? Will something be revealed?
If you are going to do creative non-fiction, write an ad for a friend – or an enemy. Write an ad about the self you want to be, or even the one you were at a different time in your life.
We’re not looking for the ad to be part of a piece – we want it to be THE piece.